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'You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose'...Dr Seuss

Saturday, 26 November 2011

My Story...

In July 2010 I married the love of my life.  By the end of August 2010, less than a month after our wedding, my husband had thrown me out of our home, he had evicted me from our life together.

No, this is not fiction, it is very much reality, a reality which 15 months on I am still trying to cope with each and every day.  You see, my husband has a mental illness (bipolar and/or borderline personality disorder) and a day after our wedding he decided that he no longer needed to take any medication and stopped,then and there.  And that was the beginning of the end.

Within days he completely changed, became aggressive, abusive, intimidating, delusional, demanding money, stopped working, made irrational and reckless decisions.  Basically he had no consideration or thought for the consequences of his actions.  Consequences we are all still paying for today.

I could see he was not right and I confronted him and tried to get him to go see a psychicatrist but all that resulted in was a threat that he would get violent if I did not leave.  He had to get rid of me, he was manic and no one could stand in his way.  As I've come to find out at the time he was in 'bulldozer mode' and had to get rid of anyone who stood in his way.

So in the course of just over a year because he stopped taking his medication my husband destroyed his second marriage, got himself into extreme debt, destroyed his relationship with his 21 year old daughter to the point where she had to get a restraining order against him and he could also possibly face a jail sentence for harrassing and intimidating her.

This has been the most difficult time of my life and I hope to share my journey so that if someone out there reading this is thinking of stopping their medication then please reconsider, think of your family and loved ones, if not for yourself then do it for them.  Life can fall apart very quickly and it can take years to pick up the pieces.


  1. I commend you on sharing your story. You speak from a place of caring and will, rather than anger & resentment. It is painful to see what a "mental illness" can do to a person & once "it" gains it's control, it puts that person trapped in a box inside. Help is needed to break the lock. **A person can be hospitalized by involuntary psychiatric hold. Here's more info: http://www.ehow.com/how_4431397_baker-act-someone.html
    It is common & hopeful that when life feels good again, the medication can be stopped & all will be okay. It doesn't work that way. A mental illness doesn't disappear or heal like an illness treated with antibiotics. Stopping medication should be planned with a Psychiatrist. It takes a lot of work to prepare the mind & body to take control of the mental illness & live symptom free. The coping skills have to be in place. Think about why someone who has every reason to be so called "happy" but exists severely depressed...it is b/c a "mental illness" comes into play. It's not about feeling happy. It's about handling the "illness" so you can be & remain happy. Medication can help a person feel better ... but it's not a cure, never meant to be one and be prepared for withdrawal & coping skills to be tested when the medication stops. Coping skills are the defense in not letting "it" ruin life. It is okay if medication has to be permanent, just as it's okay for a diabetic to need their insulin. Sounds like he never reached/gained either: Acceptance (to live with medication as a part of life) or Coping Skills (which is essential).

  2. Thank you so much for taking the time to read this an comment. When my husband started losing it and I was desperate to get him help the only options available to me was to call the police and have him involuntarily taken away. This was something I just could not bring myself to do. It took him over a year to hit rock bottom but he has since been hospitalised and is back on medication and treatment. He has a very long road ahead of him.
    Although I still question whether he has actually accepted his illness for he is already telling me that he only needs to take his medication for 3 years and then all will be ok. Its so sad that he is incapable of seeing through that fog and stigma and accepting that he has to remain medicated for the rest of his life.